I Accidentally the Whole Village

jesus christ who let all these bees in here

Anonymous asked: How does one befriend you? Should I pray to dead gods, put on a giant lizard garb, and dance the dance of the crab people? Or is it more like going to the mountains, training for years with the monks on how to perfectly cough in one's mouth, and then come back a wiser soul who can send airborne germs into the unsuspecting mouth about a hundred meters off?

iguanamouth:

all of this sounds good except you have to wear this

image

thebuttblr:

nonomella:

strawberrytop007:

hyperwolf:

livelife-havefun-partyhard:

Parrot caught singing let the bodies hit the floor

I was so done when it whispered…I would shit bricks if I heard that when I got up to get a drink in the middle of the night…

“Let the bodies hit the….FLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOR!!!”

oh my god he’s so into it

funny as fuck

(via iguanamouth)

Anonymous asked: honestly, i bet being the kids u babysit is so awesome they get to hang out with such a funny and cool and talented and silly and fun and awesome person goodness.

iguanamouth:

WRONG almost the entire time theyre like lauren i want mcdonalds. lauren i want to go to the park. lauren why cant i press all the buttons on the elevator. i want root beer. why cant we make a cake. do i have to do my homework. lauren i need to go to the bathroom but im afraid of the toilet and you have to flush it for me. lauren have you heard about minecraft. well im just going to talk to you about it for twenty minutes anyway. why cant we go to your house. lauren let me loudly describe to you exactly how my poop looked this morning while we are walking down this busy street

iguanamouth:


I made this friend the other day and I wanted you to meet him cause I thought of your blog when I saw him so I took a pic

ah yes the Imperial Scout caught On Film while collecting information in the field 

iguanamouth:

I made this friend the other day and I wanted you to meet him cause I thought of your blog when I saw him so I took a pic

ah yes the Imperial Scout caught On Film while collecting information in the field 

naamahdarling:

acquaintedwithrask:

drdemented:

Instead of saying “MAN UP”, you should say “TANK UP”.

Because you know, when you’re the tank in a group, you’re taking the hits. Which is kind of what the first expression is aiming for.

Except this one is gender neutral.

cosigned so hard

Gender neutral AND nerdy.

Help me to remember this, everyone.

(via stephzag)